11/17/2024
Turn with me to Proverbs 18:18-19. These are our verses to study and memorize this week.
Proverbs 18:18-19 The cast lot puts an end to strife And decides between the mighty ones. 19 A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city, And contentions are like the bars of a citadel.
Introduction
Proverbs 18:1-21 primarily focuses on the tongue. The first 14 verses looked at negative uses of the tongue and the causes of wicked words. Now in verses 15-21we are looking at positive uses of the tongue and the causes of righteous words. Verse 15 began things off by giving the importance of intentionally pursuing God’s wisdom. That is what will enable our tongues to produce righteousness and protect us from all the temptations to wickedly use our tongues. As we seek knowing God we will have guidance from His Word on how to live and speak. With that foundation understood, we then looked at using our gifts and abilities for good and how that produces righteousness in our words. We also saw the importance of examining carefully what we are told to be able to find the truth. By using questions and comparing what we hear with God’s Word our words and actions will be guided by God’s wisdom. They will produce and promote righteousness.
In these next two verses we are going to look at two more elements of wisdom which help us use our words righteously. Though they are translated into English with different words in the NASB, both of these verses use the same root word for strife. Solomon has neatly and poetically packaged these two verses together to focus on the same theme of strife between people. Verse 18 begins with its reference to strife in its first part, and verse 19 ends with its reference to strife (translated contentions) in its second part. So these two verses are bracketed at the beginning and end with this focus. In the middle we see two examples of those that the contentions are between.
Contentions and arguments can be the hardest place for us to control our tongues. Our stress, frustration, disagreement, anger, and bitterness can so easily overflow into sinful words. So the wisdom given here is crucially important to pay attention to if we want our tongues to be used righteously. The first verse begins broadly in its mention of strife, but it also specifically mentions contentions between mighty people. The second one deals with offenses between brothers and then widens to the variety of contentions which can exist. Disagreements and problems can arise in all different kinds of situations—whether in the family, or between nations. If we are not careful they can escalate to catastrophic proportions. No doubt we have all had issues that ended up being a problem between us and someone else. Maybe we are still dealing with such issues. So these verses are very relevant for all of us with the way that we use our words.
Let’s take a closer look now at these two verses.
18 The cast lot puts an end to strife And decides between the mighty ones.
An impartial, fair way of dealing with issues ends quarrels. This proverb highlights the wisdom of fair peacemaking.
Back in Proverbs 16:33 we looked extensively at the casting of lots (Lesson 155). We saw that lots were used as a common way to seek the Lord’s guidance while trusting His sovereignty over all things. For instance, after the original conquest of Canaan the tribes were commanded in the book of Joshua to use lots to divide up the land between them. During the time of David they used lots to divide up the priestly responsibilities between the different levitical families for their rotating service in the temple (1 Chronicles 24-26). Lots were also (most likely) used to determine who had sinned when Israel was defeated at AI (Joshua 7:14), and they were used to verify God’s choice of who would be the first king of all Israel (1 Samuel 10:20).
One important aspect to note about the casting of lots is that they were only used before the coming of the Holy Spirit and the completion of God’s Word. After the indwelling of the Holy Spirit they are not mentioned again. They are also not encouraged or mentioned in the rest of the New Testament Scriptural writings as something that Christians are to use to make decisions. Instead, the focus turns to living by the Holy Spirit through the guidance of God’s Word.
Originally, though, lots were used to righteously determine between options or to fairly make allotments. The scriptural use of lots was quite distinct from the forbidden pagan practices of divination, witchcraft, and idolatry. Instead of defying God through reliance upon false gods, demons, and manipulation the biblical use of lots was done reverently in reliance on God’s guidance and sovereignty.
In this context, then, the use of lots was a fair and righteous way to seek God’s will in unclear instances and to help resolve or prevent conflicts. When two of God’s people had an issue or when something needed to be settled then it would be agreed upon that the matter would be entrusted to God and decided by His guidance through the casting of a lot. Thus when the matter was decided it was not a matter of one person being more selfish than the other and getting his way. It was not a matter of one being more powerful than the other and imposing their will. It was not a matter of bribing a judge, or being better at persuading someone else. No, it was completely reliant on God’s sovereign oversight of the dice. If one “lost out” or got the worse of the two options, the other person could not be blamed. Instead, one needed to trust God that it was best and right.
Coming back to our proverb the use of lots is here encouraged as an impartial, just, righteous, and godly means of solving a dilemma between two parties. Throughout history this is always how issues ought to be resolved: righteously and justly. In our previous verse we saw the court room setting where a careful investigation of the details was needed to make sure that a righteous decision was reached. However, not every issue between people is one of a criminal nature where such a verdict needs to be rendered. Sometimes there are other kinds of strife and contention between people. Sometimes there just needs to be a fair and impartial decision or allotment about something. In such cases having a righteous way of doing this could remove the strife and prevent problems from growing to dangerous proportions.
The wise person will encourage that kind of trust in the Lord and going to Him for guidance on how to resolve the matter. The wise person will pursue impartial, just, righteous, and godly means of solving a dilemma between two parties. We may not cast lots today to do this, but this principle remains eternally the same.
Scriptural Example: In Scripture we see several New Testament example of this in the book of Acts.
In Acts 5 Ananias and Sapphira lied about how much money they gave to the church from a piece of property they sold. With the coming of the indwelling Spirit there was no recourse to lots here to figure out what was going on, who was guilty, or what should occur. Nevertheless, the same spirit that was to pervade the casting of lots did occur. As a result, the Holy Spirit brought justice in a way that God deemed fair and right—through the death of this husband and wife for their lie to Him. In this case God’s intervention was so direct and definitive that we might miss that there was a dilemma here or that Peter needed to do anything about it. But the truth is that there was a very big problem here, and Peter did do something about it.
The problem of lies, self-interest, and broken integrity infiltrating and characterizing the early church would have been horrific. It could not be overlooked. We do not know exactly how Peter knew that Ananias was lying—whether that was directly from the Holy Spirit, from an outside report, or from a knowledge of property values and situations. Regardless he addressed it in full reliance upon God. One way or another God had sovereignly brought the truth to his attention. So Peter continued to trust in God to help him justly deal with the problem. Through his questions the truth was further revealed, and God made clear what justice was by carrying it out Himself. From this we see the importance of not overlooking sin, of trusting in God to help us deal with problems, and of trusting God for justice. Just like with the casting of lots, when there is strife we need to rely on the Lord for wisdom and guidance to help us justly deal with situations.
All that being said, in most of the situations we face we do not see the Lord intervening in quite the direct and miraculous way that He did with Ananias and Sapphira. However, right after this in Acts 6 we see another problem that arose in the early church. Strife arose between the Greek speaking Jewish believers and the Hebrew speaking Jewish believers. The widows among the Greek speaking believers were being overlooked in the daily distribution of food. What was needed was something impartial and just which would end the contention.
So what did they do? In this case they also went to God for guidance on how to resolve this matter. They did not resort to lots to select people to help them deal with it. But they followed the same principles of dependence on God and reliance on His sovereign wisdom and guidance. Thus they selected 7 men “full of the Spirit and wisdom” (Acts 6:3). They chose 7 Spirit filled men that the people trusted who would walk by God’s wisdom and justly meet the needs that were being overlooked. With that, the contention was solved and the church continued to grow.
In Acts 15 we see another situation where there was a great contention within the early church. When Gentiles started becoming Christian there was a great debate brought up by some believing Pharisees on whether the Gentiles needed to be circumcised and to keep the law of Moses to truly be believers. The issue was brought before the apostles and elders in Jerusalem, and much discussion occurred. Help was needed to decide between these groups and to publicly clarify what salvation was and was not. In times past this might have been the perfect time for lots to be cast in reliance upon God for His sovereign guidance and clarification. But that is not what occurred. Yet, the same focus that our proverb urges with having a just means of deciding and having a reliance on God’s guidance most definitely did occur.
After much discussion Peter finally got up and pointed out that it was the Holy Spirit who was given to the gentile believers in the same way that they had received Him. That proved that God had already decided they were accepted before Him and truly saved from their sin. Peter also pointed out that even in their own case it was not the circumcision and the keeping of the law which had saved them. Rather they were all “saved through the grace of the Lord Jesus” (Acts 15:11). James added to this by quoting prophetic scripture which affirmed God’s intention to save gentiles who were called by His name (Acts 15:15-21). They did not have to become Jewish to be saved. It was all by God’s grace.
In this way, with the same purpose that lots were intended to have, God used their reliance on His Spirit’s guidance by the truth of His Word to overcome the strife and contention that had arisen. That is what we ought to do as well.
Proverb in Comparison: When we compare our proverb and those situations in the book of Acts with the rest of Scripture we see these truths reiterated for us in 2 Peter 1:19. There Peter would later say, “we have the prophetic word made more sure.” In the context he was saying that the prophetic revealed Word of God is an even more sure and reliable revelation than the in-person experience that he and the other disciples had on the mount of Transfiguration when they saw Jesus exalted in His glory.
Since God’s completed Word is an even more sure means of guidance than that amazing experience, then it is most certainly what we should rely on in the place of lots (or anything else) to help us deal with the strife and contentions that arise in this life. This is the blessing of having God’s Word and of having His indwelling Spirit to help us apply those truths. It enables us to justly deal with strife as we depend on God’s wisdom and trust in His sovereignty over our situations.
If we do apply God’s Word by the Spirit’s enablement to the situations of our lives then we will be enabled to rightly deal with the strife and contention that arises. When two Christians do this, then the strife itself will be put to an end.
The real issue then becomes, will we entrust ourselves to God’s wisdom and His sovereign guidance? Will we walk by the Spirit to apply the truth of His Word in the hard situations that we face?
Truth in Connection: As we apply this to our lives, it will not always be easy. Sometimes the truth can seem counter-intuitive. Often it will go directly against what our flesh would push us to naturally do. For instance, think about some of God’s wisdom in the New Testament that He gives to us about our relationships with other people.
To husbands God tells them in Ephesians 5:25 to “love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” In Colossians 3:19 He tells husbands to “love your wives and do not be embittered against them.” To wives in Ephesians 5:24 God tells them to “as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.” This is reiterated in Colossians 3:18. Ephesians 5:33 sums it up together this way: “each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”
To children God says in Colossians 3:20 to “be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord.” This is reiterated and expanded on in Ephesians 6:1-3. To fathers God says to “not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” If we handled problems in our families this way right away we would very quickly be able to put an end to the strife that occurred there!
To believers in general God says in Ephesians 5:21 to “be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.” In Philippians 4:5 He says “let your gentle spirit be known to all men.” In Mark 12:31 Jesus Himself taught us in the second greatest command that “you shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
In relation to issues between Christians God tells us in 1 Corinthians 6 that we are not to go to law court against each other and publicly shame His name that way. Instead we should go to a wise fellow believer to decide between our situation. If all else fails, we should simply allow ourselves to be wronged entrusting ourselves to God’s justice that He will not allow the unrighteous to inherit the kingdom of God as 1 Corinthians 6:9 says. God apparently takes injustice and mistreatment of others quite seriously! But He also takes quite seriously the way that we represent Him before the world.
If we handled problems between one another this way with a gentleness, a love, a reverence for God’s name, a trust in God’s justice, and a submitting of our disagreements to the wisdom of spirit led people we would be able to put an end to the strife and contentions that came up between us.
In relation to our government God said in Romans 13:1 that “ever person is to be in subjection to the governing authorities.” Later on in Romans 13:7 He says to “render to all what is due them: tax to whom tax is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honor to whom honor.”
In relation to the world God says in Romans 12:14 to “bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.” Romans 12:17 says “never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men.” Romans 12:21 says to “not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” 1 Peter 4:19 says that “those also who suffer according to the will of God are to entrust their souls to a faithful Creator in doing what is right.”
While in some of these cases we might not be able to put an end to strife, God does give us His wisdom on what our part in that process is to be when contentions arise. Regardless, we are to do exactly what the casting of lots was designed to do in spirit. We are to entrust our souls to our faithful Creator. With that faith we are to do what is right ourselves through what God tells us in His Word. If we walk in obedience to God’s wisdom, then we will indeed be living—so far as it depends on us—at peace with all men (cf. Rom 12:18). That will go a long way in putting an end to strife.
Having gone through these verses, though, and seen some of what God’s wisdom in His Word guides us to do it may have become evident that this is not something that we can do on our own. Our flesh will fight us. We will want to stand up for our rights. We will not want to submit. We will not want to love when we are not being loved. We will want to be bitter at times. We will not want to always obey our parents. We will not always want to be gentle. We will not always want to be in subjection to frustrating governmental authorities with unfair and hard burdens that they might put on us. We will not want to be kind to those who are evil to us. The only way that we can do these things is if we walk by the Spirit who indwells us. Only He can overcome our sinful flesh within us and give us victory. But thanks be to God, in Jesus Christ the victory has already been won. Jesus paid the penalty for the sins of all those who have truly trusted in Him. He has broken the power of those sins over us. We do not have to follow those sinful desires and feelings any longer. We can let them go, submit to Him, trust Him, and walk in His newness of life in righteousness and holiness. In this way, “cast the lot” (obey God) and then trust Him for the results.
The question is, will we walk by the Holy Spirit inside of us and walk in obedience to God’s Wisdom? Or will we go back to our sinful old way of living? Will we grieve God’s Holy Spirit and ignore His love and grace that He has given to redeem us and make us holy? Those are our only two options as Christians. May we trust God’s sovereignty and go to Him for guidance to put an end to the strife that occurs between us and others. When we do, it will shape the words that we use with people.
If you are not a Christian, then the truth is that there is no way that you can do these things. You need to first trust in Jesus as your Lord and Savior to overcome your sin and the judgment that overhangs your soul. Only as Jesus gives you His resurrection life will sin’s power over you be broken. Only then can you truly walk by His wisdom in His Spirit in the life situations that you face. Trust Him as your Lord and Savior today.
Our next verse continues our look at strife.
19 A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city, And contentions are like the bars of a citadel.
Quarrels put nearly impregnable walls between people. This proverb emphasizes the wisdom of avoiding offenses and of working hard to pursue reconciliation.
If we do not pursue a righteous way to end strife between us and others we risk suffering a breach that will be extremely difficult to fix. If our tongues are not guided by God’s Word and our hearts are not controlled by the Holy Spirit then the contentions will grow until there is a nearly insurmountable rupture.
This proverb is interesting in that it does not have a clear verb in either part of the verse. They are assumed. Because of that the translations vary a bit in how they handle this. The KJV and NASB try to clarify by saying that a brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city. The ESV and NIV say a brother offended is more unyielding than a strong (or fortified) city. The NET Bible says a relative offended is harder to reach than a strong city. (Emphasis added to make the supplied words clear.)
Thankfully both parts of the proverb are arranged similarly. The second part essentially restates the point of the first part. So the meaning remains straight-forward. A brother offended and contentions between people become like a fortified city with strong barred gates. A strong city is one that cannot be easily entered or conquered. A strong fortified gate—which would generally be the weakest and easiest place to enter—means that there is not going to be any easy entrance. This tells us that reconciliation is going to be extremely hard. It might be the hardest battle of your life, and even still you might fail.
When people put up their metaphorical walls against other people it can sometimes become impossible to overcome. A soft answer may turn away wrath, but if they keep you at a distance you may not even have an opportunity to address the issues in a real, honest, loving way. That is the nature of bitterness. It builds walls. When grudges and offenses are held onto they morph into greater and greater obstacles. People take a perverse pleasure in nursing their hurt and justifying their anger. As it grows, not only is the relationship between the other person ruined, but it also makes a prisoner out of the person themselves. They get walled up within their own fortress. With their inability to forgive and show love it ruins any relationship that they might have with God. It also affects their relationships with other people. They want other people to pick sides and join them in their “justified” anger and strife. They become more easily angered and prone to bitterness in other areas of life. Their offense becomes their own undoing as it destroys them from the inside out. Truly a brother offended can be harder to reconcile with than it would be for an army to overcome a strong fortress.
Recognizing how hard it can be to win back an offended brother should help us guard our tongues and push us to pursue righteousness with our words. Recognizing how hard it can be to win back an offended brother also pushes us to work hard at pursuing reconciliation when offenses have been caused.
Scriptural Example: In Scripture we see a notable example of this proverb in the relationship between Jacob and Esau. Jacob took both the firstborn birthright (Gen. 25:29-34) and blessing from Esau (Gen. 27). After Esau lost the blessing to Jacob and Rebekah’s trickery he was so enraged and offended that he planned to kill his brother Jacob. Because of that Rebekah sent Jacob far away to Haran to her brother Laban. After 20 years working for Laban Jacob left and returned to the promised land. Along the way he sent a message to Esau telling him of God’s blessing to him and of his desire for peace. Yet, Jacob got word that Esau was coming with 400 men to meet Jacob.
Jacob was greatly afraid that Esau meant to slaughter them all. So he carefully staged his family and put three waves of large livestock gifts up front to try to mollify Esau’s anger when he arrived. It’s hard to know if that gift is what calmed Esau down, or if time and his own personal success had done it. But Jacob’s fear was very real after all that time. He knew the power of anger and the depth of bitterness. It could cost him and his family their lives if he was not careful. So he went to the utmost effort to pacify his brother. From the humble words that he used, to the expensive gifts that he gave, to the prayers to God for help, Jacob did his best to atone for his past behavior and reconcile with his brother. In God’s grace Esau did not harm any of them, but rather embraced Jacob and was restored in relationship to him. They departed from each other in peace. That was not easy. That took a massive effort.
Proverb in Comparison: When we compare this proverb with the rest of Scripture we see God’s instructions to us in Titus 3:9.
Titus 3:9 But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and strife and disputes about the Law, for they are unprofitable and worthless.
One major way to keep from offending people is to avoid foolish, unprofitable, and worthless discussions. Some things in life may spark our interest, but not be worth the time spent pursuing them. On other things we might end up having an opinion, but they are simply not edifying to dispute about. They may pull us away from seeking first God’s kingdom and His righteousness. They may be issues worth agreeing to disagree on, or they may be issues that we really cannot and should not be dogmatic about. These tangential issues, as much as we can from our side, must not be allowed to produce a strife between us that would fracture our relationships.
Romans 13:9b-14 gives us the big picture here.
Romans 13:9b-14 and if there is any other commandment, it is summed up in this saying, “YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.” 10 Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. 11 Do this, knowing the time, that it is already the hour for you to awaken from sleep; for now salvation is nearer to us than when we believed. The night is almost gone, and the day is near. Therefore let us lay aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. 13 Let us behave properly as in the day, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife and jealousy. 14 But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts.
When it all boils down, we need to love others as ourselves. If we do, we are not going to wrong and offend them unnecessarily. We will guard our tongues and use them to build people up, not tear them down. We will have them be guided by God’s wisdom. If we do somehow end up wronging someone, we are going to do whatever we can to fix it and reconcile with them. We are not going to be living like we used to in our sinful flesh. We are not going to be going around causing problems and leaving broken relationships in our wake. No. As redeemed, forgiven, children of God we are going to lay aside those former evil ways of living and put on the Lord Jesus Christ. We are going to begin following Jesus in speaking, thinking, and acting as Jesus would. We are not going to give opportunities to and make excuses for our sinful flesh to carry out its evil deeds.
Truth in Connection: As we apply this proverb to our lives it should encourage us to make sure that we are indeed being slow to speak, slow to anger, and quick to listen. We should think before we speak and act so that we do not sinfully hurt others. Otherwise we may do irreparable harm. With this verse’s warning about the challenges of reconciliation we should do what we can to avoid breaches in relationship to begin with. If and when they occur we should not let the issue linger. We should deal with it like Jacob did when he thought his whole family’s life might be on the line. We should pray about it, make true amends for the wrongs we have done, and humbly use our words to seek reconciliation.
If we live this way, with an understanding of the deep damage that our words and actions can cause and of the reality that we may not be able to restore relationships, our words will avoid friendly fire. We will instead pursue righteousness and reconciliation. We will pursue being guided by God’s Word and living by His Spirit. Do you want to have righteous words? Will you pursue knowing Jesus through His Word and submitting to His Spirit’s work in your life? Will you have what He wants you to say guide your mouth? Will you take the really hard issues to spirit filled people to righteously work through disagreements and to choose to honor God in the process? May we daily see our need to follow Jesus in every area of our lives and delight to know and follow Him, trusting that His way is always best and right.
If you have not been born again, then that is where this all must start. When the esteemed ruler of the Jews, Nicodemus, came to Jesus, Jesus told him “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God” (John 3:3). Because of our sin we have all offended and wronged God. And there is nothing that we can do to make ourselves righteous and reconcile ourselves to Him. Yet, in His love, He made a way of rescue from our sin and of reconciliation to God—at His own expense. Jesus came, lived perfectly, and then died on the cross as our substitute. He took our punishment upon Himself so that He could give us His righteousness. Then He rose again, conquering sin and death. But this does not come automatically to anyone. We must be born again. We must repent and trust in Jesus as our Lord and Savior. Trust in Him today. Surrender to Him. He alone can raise us from the dead spiritually, give us life, and transform our lives from our former sinful way of living. Trust Him.
Conclusion
If you have any questions on any of this or want help in coming to know Jesus as your Lord and Savior please come talk with us. We are available. Let’s pray.
© 2024, Kevin A. Dodge, All rights reserved.
Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible® (NASB),Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. www.Lockman.org
English (US) · 